Listening to our Dogs
September 2, 2007: 22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time
Sirach 3:17-18, 20, 28-29 Heb. 12:18-19, 22-24 Luke 14:1, 7-11
To the church in the diaspora[1]
& to the church of the unchurched[2]
Alleluia, alleluia.
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke.
Glory to you, Lord.
On a Sabbath Jesus went to dine at the home of one of the leading Pharisees, and the people there were observing him carefully. When he noticed how some of the guests were trying to get a place at the head table, he told them a parable. “When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not take the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you might be invited, and the host might have to approach you and say, ‘Give your place to this man.’ Then with embarrassment you will have to take some less important place. Rather, when you are invited, go and seek the less important place so that when the host comes to you he might say, ‘My friend, move up to this nicer place.’ Then you will enjoy the esteem of the other guests at the banquet.” Jesus ends the parable with the expression, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk 14:1, 7-11).
Introduction
A favorite expression
That seems to be a favorite expression of Jesus. He ends another parable with the identically same words. Two men went up to the temple to pray one day. One was a Pharisee (a stickler on religion). The other was a tax collector (always mentioned in the same breath with sinners). The Pharisee thanked God he wasn’t greedy, dishonest and immoral, like the rest of men. The tax collector struck his breast and asked God to be merciful to him, a greedy, dishonest and immoral sinner. When the sun set that day, the tax collector, Jesus said, not the Pharisee went home that night set right with God. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk 18:9-:14).
Matthew records a third time Jesus used the expression. Speaking to the crowds one day he typifies the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees as ostentatious people. “They do everything just to be seen by others. They enlarge their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels on their pray shawls. They love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the reserved pews in the synagogue. They love being shown deference in the marketplace and being greeted as `Rabbi.’” He ends his uncomplimentary description of them saying, “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Mt 23:5-7, 12).
I’m not OK
Years ago Thomas Harris, a psychiatrist, wrote a best seller entitled I’m OK; You’re OK. The book was about good self-esteem (I’m OK) and poor self-esteem (I’m not OK). The book was about feeling good about one’s self and about not feeling good about one’s self.
On second reading, today’s parable is really about poor self-esteem. When you don’t feel very good about yourself, you have a need to sit in a place of honor at a banquet. When, however, you have good self-esteem then any seat at all at the banquet will be just fine!
Jesus’ other parables are also about poor self-esteem. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you have a need to look down on the rest of men as greedy, dishonest and immoral. When, however, you have good self-esteem, you don’t have to build yourself up by tearing another down. On July 10, 2007, Pope Benedict revisited a document he wrote in 2000 (Dominus Iesus) when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. He again declared that Orthodox churches were “defective,” and that other Christian denominations were not true churches but merely “ecclesial communities.” When, however, a church feels good about itself, it doesn’t need to build itself up by tearing others down.
Again, when you don’t feel good about yourself, you have a need to dress yourself up in ostentatious prayer shawls with lengthy tassels, and you have a need to wear baggy pants dropping down to your ankles to attract attention to yourself. When, however, you have good self-esteem, you know what’s attractive about you lies within you. You can afford to wear unpretentious clothes and to wear your pants up at your waist where they won’t attract attention.
Primary and secondary recordings
Good self-esteem is partly a gift bestowed by birth. Some are born into abundant means and with great natural gifts. Those are great pluses. Others are wounded by birth with poor self-esteem because they are born into needs of one kind or the other. Good self-esteem is also partly a gift bestowed by others—especially by parents and by friends who in all different ways tell us that we are OK, and not only just OK but also worth more than a whole flock of sparrows.
The gift of good self-esteem or the wound of poor self-esteem is inflicted already at a very early age. Psychiatrists tell us that by the age of three or four the matter is basically signed, sealed and delivered for us. By that time a primary recording has been set into play within us. It basically says over and over (in varying degrees of volume) "I'm OK” or “I’m not OK.” If the recording is basically saying “I’m OK,” then we’ve been blessed, and there’s not much more we have to do but simply live life with a grateful heart.
But if, because of the circumstances of birth and early life, the recording basically says, “I’m not OK,” then we’ve been wounded, and we are confronted with a choice. We can either let the primary recording take over our lives, or we can choose to turn down its volume and turn up the secondary recording in our lives. That’s the recording which plays the voices of our own internal gifts and goodness which tell us we’re OK. That’s the recording which plays the voices of people who in various ways tells us we’re OK, and not only just OK but also worth more than a whole flock of sparrows (Lk 12:4-6). In a word, we can either let the recording that says we’re not OK take over our lives, or we can choose to bloom wherever we are.
We’ll never be able to completely turn off the primary recording which says we’re not OK. The lifelong task is to turn it down whenever its volume gets too loud, and we’re tempted to act inappropriately with self-pity, timidity, hostility or withdrawal. We turn it down by turning up the secondary recording with its blessed voices, as we choose to bloom wherever we are.
My primary recording
The older you get, the easier it is to reveal yourself because you don’t have anything to lose. I’m at that stage in my life. I was born of poor Italian immigrants who came to this country at the start of the last century. My immigrant parents didn’t fare very well in a foreign land. Our mother, who couldn’t speak English, was taken from us at an early age, leaving my sister and me without someone to tell us we were OK (as only a mother can do it). It left our father without a helpmate and our house without a soul. That, of course, was bound to wound my sister and me and set a primary recording going in our lives, which said, “I’m not OK.”
The voices of enemies
Periodically the volume on that recording gets turned up for me, and I have to work at turning it down. It gets turned up when some lady writes a scathing letter which reads, “We just couldn’t take the homily anymore. So we left. I really wanted to get up and shout, `That’s enough. Shut up!’ I actually felt for the first time in my life that a very malevolent person was actually celebrating Mass.”
The volume on my primary recording gets turned up again when some gentleman writes a letter which reads, “I witnessed a young lady stand up and walk out of Mass during your homily. Another young lady told the pastor she was livid at the words of your homily. She told Father that she was not at all offended because she can’t be ordained.” It was a five page letter which never deviated once from its pervading tone. It ended on this savagely deflating note: “Perhaps you would better serve everyone if you just enjoyed retirement. May God richly bless you. Sincerely yours in Christ.”
The voices of friends
But then there are the voices of friends who turn up the volume on my secondary recording. One friend writes, “You have a tremendous mind and a warm heart, and you use your unique blessings to serve God. You are an inspiration to me, and I want to tell you I appreciate you very much.” Another friend writes, “I truly feel it was God’s will that we celebrated Mass with you at Old Saint Mary’s. I so enjoyed the service. You were absolutely fabulous, your sermon was out of this world, the choir was phenomenal, the lector was dynamic and the beauty of your church was just so stunning.” Oh those blessed voices of friends which turn down my primary recording and turn up the volume which assures assure I’m OK, and not only just OK but also worth more than a whole flock of sparrows ((Lk 12:4-6).
The voice of Jesus and our dog
To the voices of friends who tell us we’re OK, we add the voice of Jesus. The voices of friends (whom we see) come before the voice of Jesus (whom we don’t see). They enable us to believe the words of Jesus who tells us that not a single sparrow (so cheap you can get two of them for a penny) falls to the ground without our Father knowing it, and that we are worth more than a whole flock of them (Lk 12:4-6).
To the voices of friends and Jesus on my secondary recording there is also the voice of my dog, Simeon. Like Jesus, Simeon knows that I, his master, am worth more than a whole flock of sparrows, squirrels and sticks. A friend gave me a little pillow on which was embroidered the words, “My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.” If you have a problem with self-esteem, get yourself a dog!
Conclusion
Listening to our dogs
Most of us are afflicted at times with poor self-esteem. (Sometimes it’s miniscule, and sometimes it’s sizeable.) It’s poor self-esteem that makes us need to seek the place of honor at a banquet. It poor self-esteem that makes us need to tear others down as greedy, dishonest and immoral in order to build ourselves up. It’s poor self-esteem that makes us need to bedeck ourselves in showy prayer shawls with lengthy tassels.
When the voice of such disfunctionality is raging within us, we turn it down by listening to other voices. We listen to our own gifts and goodness. We listen to our friends and our Lord. And some of us listen to our dogs who were created by the Lord precisely to let us know what He wants us to powerfully know -- that we are worth more than a whole flock of sparrows.
[1] Diaspora is a Greek word meaning dispersion. Originally it referred to the settling of scattered colonies of Jews outside Palestine after the Babylonian exile. It’s now come to mean the migration or scattering of a people away from an established or ancestral homeland or parish!
[2] By “the unchurched” is especially meant not those who have left the church but those whom the church has left!
