Fraternal Correction
September 7, 2008, 23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time
Ezekiel 33:7-9 Romans 13:8-10 Matthew 18:15-17
To the churched and unchurched[1]
gathered in a temple not built by human hands[2]
First reading from Exodus 33:7-9
September 7, 2008, 23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time
Ezekiel 33:7-9 Romans 13:8-10 Matthew 18:15-17
To the churched and unchurched[1]
gathered in a temple not built by human hands[2]
First reading from Exodus 33:7-9
Thus says the LORD: “Now, mortal man, I am making you a watchman for the nation of Israel. You must pass on to them the warnings I give you. If I announce that an evil man is going to die but you do not warn him to change his ways so that he can save his life, then he will die in his sin, and I will hold you responsible for his death. If you do warn an evil man, and he does not stop sinning, he will die in his sin, but your life will be saved.”
Brothers and sisters: Owe no one anything but to love one another, for the one who loves has fulfilled the Law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.
Alleluia, alleluia.
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew
18:15-17
Glory to you, Lord.
Jesus said to his disciples, “If someone does something wrong, go and talk matters over between the two of you alone. If that person listens to you, fine. If not, take one or two other persons with you, for as the scriptures say, `The testimony of two or three persons is required to sustain a charge against someone.’ (Dt 19:15) And if that does not work, then go to the community. If the person refuses to listen even to the community, then treat him as Gentile or tax collector.
The Gospel of the Lord.
Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
Introduction
Fraternal correction
As the Lord God appointed Ezekiel to be a loving watchman over the house of Israel, so the gospel appoints us to be loving watchmen over each other. “If someone does something wrong, go first and talk matters over between the two of you.” Parents are duty-bound to be watchmen over their kids, spouses over each other, priests over their flocks, etc. Down the Christian centuries this duty to be a loving watchman over one another has been called”fraternal correction.” We are appointed not to be fault-finders, criticizers, gossipers or detractors but loving watchmen over each other. What’s more, fraternal correction is two way traffic: we are obliged not only to correct but also to be corrected.
A function of love
Fraternal correction is not a function of satisfying our pet peeves or venting our anger or giving someone a piece of our mind. That might be deeply gratifying momentarily, but it does not solve a problem. My Irish friend always tells his Italian wife when she lets her Italian nature soundly express itself, “Honey, you’ve just become part of the problem.” Fraternal correction is a function of love. It is not for winning over someone but rather for winning someone over. “If the brother you confront listens to you, you have won him over.” (Mt 18:15)
How not to give fraternal correction
Over the years people have confronted me personally or through mail. One woman wrote, “Your sermons are the most offensive, anger provoking and obsessive sermons I have ever heard in my life. You seem to crave dwelling on pain, Nazi war camps, AIDS and 9/11. I feel you are personally trying to work through problems of your own in front of a captive audience.”
Her correction was, indeed, a function of her anger. She did, indeed, give me a good sound piece of her mind and laid me low. But she also became part of the problem. In her mind she might have won over me, but she did not win me over. I have not mended my ways. I still speak of the unspeakable Holocaust and the Nazi concentration camps. I still speak of the unspeakable event of September 11, which brought down two towers in Lower Manhattan and three thousand innocent human beings. I never let those unforgetables be forgotten.
Her correction was, indeed, a function of her anger. She did, indeed, give me a good sound piece of her mind and laid me low. But she also became part of the problem. In her mind she might have won over me, but she did not win me over. I have not mended my ways. I still speak of the unspeakable Holocaust and the Nazi concentration camps. I still speak of the unspeakable event of September 11, which brought down two towers in Lower Manhattan and three thousand innocent human beings. I never let those unforgetables be forgotten.
How to give fraternal correction
On the other hand, another woman, who, I suspect, is wise with the wisdom of age wrote, “Dear Father, I am sure you will receive this with the same spirit it was written -- in charity. Your homily last Saturday evening was much too long. I agree with much you said, but just one point would have been plenty.” She was right. An old homiletic professor used to tell us, “Three points three sermons; two points two sermons; one point one good sermon!”
She continued her fraternal correction, “I am sure you are aware that the attention span of the American audience is very short, accustomed as they are to mostly the sound-bytes of this age, and not much more. Your homilies often bring up so many thought-provoking points, but perhaps they are more suitable for publication than for preaching. Did you ever think of publishing a book? I would be the first to buy it.”
Oh what a sweet piece of her mind that was! How obvious it was that her correction was a function of love. She did not win over me, but she did, indeed, win me over. Looking back on that homily I saw she was absolutely right; the homily was far too long. The faithful had come to Saturday evening Mass prostrated by all the labors and problems of the past week. They took care to fulfill their Sunday Mass obligation so that they could get on with the urgent and customary matters of a weekend. Her fraternal correction cut me to the quick for thinking more about my own important thoughts than about the congregation before me. I felt a bit ashamed for not having had compassion upon the crowds as Jesus did. (Mt 14:14) That fine lady did not win over me, but she did, indeed, win me over.
Fraternal correction according to Sarah Palin
She continued her fraternal correction, “I am sure you are aware that the attention span of the American audience is very short, accustomed as they are to mostly the sound-bytes of this age, and not much more. Your homilies often bring up so many thought-provoking points, but perhaps they are more suitable for publication than for preaching. Did you ever think of publishing a book? I would be the first to buy it.”
Oh what a sweet piece of her mind that was! How obvious it was that her correction was a function of love. She did not win over me, but she did, indeed, win me over. Looking back on that homily I saw she was absolutely right; the homily was far too long. The faithful had come to Saturday evening Mass prostrated by all the labors and problems of the past week. They took care to fulfill their Sunday Mass obligation so that they could get on with the urgent and customary matters of a weekend. Her fraternal correction cut me to the quick for thinking more about my own important thoughts than about the congregation before me. I felt a bit ashamed for not having had compassion upon the crowds as Jesus did. (Mt 14:14) That fine lady did not win over me, but she did, indeed, win me over.
Fraternal correction according to Sarah Palin
On Friday, August 29, Senator John McCain chose Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Four months before on April 18, she had given birth to a 6-pound, 2-ounce son, Trig Palin. Trig was born with Down Syndrome -- a genetic abnormality that affects a child's intellectual and physical development. The day after his birth, the Palins released the following statement: "Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed."
Then Sarah wrote an e-mail to relatives and close friends. She wrote it as if it were a letter from God to Todd and her. In part it read, "Many people will express sympathy, but you [Todd and Sarah] don't want or need that because Trig will be a joy. You will have to trust Me on this!" Signed "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father."
What a powerful way for Todd and Sarah to fraternally correct a pro-choice attitude and promote a pro-life vision. It’s much more effective than picketing an abortion clinic or shooting pro-choice doctors. Both Todd and Sarah Palin have been vocal pro-life advocates. Now they’re powerfully practicing what they preach. As an old saw says, “What you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.”
Then Sarah wrote an e-mail to relatives and close friends. She wrote it as if it were a letter from God to Todd and her. In part it read, "Many people will express sympathy, but you [Todd and Sarah] don't want or need that because Trig will be a joy. You will have to trust Me on this!" Signed "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father."
What a powerful way for Todd and Sarah to fraternally correct a pro-choice attitude and promote a pro-life vision. It’s much more effective than picketing an abortion clinic or shooting pro-choice doctors. Both Todd and Sarah Palin have been vocal pro-life advocates. Now they’re powerfully practicing what they preach. As an old saw says, “What you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.”
Conclusion
To correct and be corrected
Fraternal correction is two-way traffic: we have an obligation not only to give it but also to receive it. And just as it is hard to give correction so it is hard to receive it.
Do not use bursts of anger to fill someone with fear so that he tells you only what you want to hear. Do not use periods of pouting to fill someone with fear so that he refrains from correcting you, and allows you to “die in your sin.” Free people from fear. Free them to tell you not what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Free them by simply saying, "You’re right! Thanks for telling me." Free them to tell you the truth, and the truth will make you free. What’s more, it’s a sure bet that if you do a good job at receiving fraternal correction, you’ll do a good job at giving it.
[1]] By the “the unchurched” is especially meant not those who have left the church but those whom the church has left!
Do not use bursts of anger to fill someone with fear so that he tells you only what you want to hear. Do not use periods of pouting to fill someone with fear so that he refrains from correcting you, and allows you to “die in your sin.” Free people from fear. Free them to tell you not what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Free them by simply saying, "You’re right! Thanks for telling me." Free them to tell you the truth, and the truth will make you free. What’s more, it’s a sure bet that if you do a good job at receiving fraternal correction, you’ll do a good job at giving it.
[1]] By the “the unchurched” is especially meant not those who have left the church but those whom the church has left!
