“If you have a problem with
self-esteem, get yourself a dog!”
Self-esteem
Malachi 1:14, 2:2, 8-10 1 Thessalonians 2:7-9, 13
Matthew 23:1-12
Matthew 23:1-12
A
reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew
Glory
to you, Lord.
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to
his disciples: “The teachers of the law
and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So
you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do,
for they do not practice what they preach.
They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s
shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Everything
they do is done for people to see: They widen their phylacteries. They lengthen
the tassels on their prayer shawls. They seek the place of honor at banquets
and the most important seats in the synagogues. They love to be greeted with
respect in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Teacher.’ You must not be called
‘Teacher,’ because you are all brothers of one another, and you have only one
Teacher. And you must not call anyone here on earth ‘Father,’ because you have
only the one Father in heaven. Nor are
you to be called `Leader,’ because your one and only leader is the Messiah. The
greatest among you must be your servant.
Whoever
makes himself great shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be made
great.”
The Gospel of the
Lord.
Praise
to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
Introduction
A busy calendar
On this 30th
day of October, we have a busy calendar ahead of us. Tomorrow October 31 is
Reformation Day. It commemorates the day when the German monk and theologian
Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses on the door of the Castle
Church in Wittenberg, Germany, on October 31, 1517. That day the Protestant Reformation and Revolution
began. Tomorrow October 31 is also Halloween. The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago (in what is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France) believed that on the night before their new year (Nov. 1) the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred, and that the spirits of the deceased roamed the earth that night. Hence all the scary images of ghosts and cemeteries which typify Halloween.
Our busy calendar also tells us that on Tuesday, November 1, Catholics celebrate All Saints Day (that feast which rejoices in “all the holy men and women of every time and place”[1]). And on Wednesday, November 2, Catholics celebrate All Souls Day which commemorates all their beloved dead.
It’s
no wonder……
In today’s gospel Jesus
launches a fierce tirade against the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees --
religious leaders of His day: They don’t practice what they preach. They lay
heavy burdens on people’s backs and then don’t lift a finger to help them. They’re ostentatious clowns who enlarge
their phylacteries [2]and
lengthen the tassels on their prayer shawls. They offer flattering salutations
in the market place, and grab the seats of honor in the synagogues and at
banquets. (Mt 23: 1-12) Jesus tells the people, “Don’t follow their example!”
With talk like that coming from the mouth of Jesus, it’s no wonder that the
teachers of the law and Pharisees would eventually “look for an opportunity to
put Him to death.” (Mk. 14:1)
A
refrain in the mouth of Jesus
Jesus
ends his tirade by spelling out true greatness for his followers: “Among
you whoever aspires to greatness must be the servant of others. Whoever makes
himself great shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be made
great.” (Mt. 23:12) That’s a
refrain in the mouth of Jesus. One day when He went to dine at the home of one
of the leading Pharisees, He noticed how some of the guests were looking for
the best places. So He told them a parable about a man seeking the humblest
place at a wedding banquet, and the host coming up to him and saying, “Come on
up, my friend, to this nicer place.” Jesus ends the parable with His refrain: ”Whoever
makes himself great shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be made
great.” (Lk 14:11) Four chapters later in the same gospel, Jesus tells another parable, and ends it with the same refrain: Two men went up to the temple to pray one day. One was a Pharisee, the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee thanked God he wasn’t greedy, dishonest and immoral like the rest of men. But the tax- collector struck his breast and asked God to be merciful to him, a sinner. When the sun set that day, the tax collector, not the Pharisee, went home that night set right with God. For “Whoever makes himself great shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be made great.” (Lk 18:14)
Any old seat will do
Years ago Thomas Harris, a psychiatrist,
wrote a best seller entitled I’m OK;
You’re OK. The book was about good self-esteem (I’m OK), and about poor
self-esteem (I’m not OK). It was about feeling good and not feeling good about
one’s self. At the end of the day, the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees in
today’s gospel had poor self-esteem – didn’t feel very good about themselves.
Strange to say, when we’re afflicted with poor self-esteem, we need to widen our
phylacteries, lengthen the tassels on our prayer shawls, and get a good seat in
the synagogue or in a banquet hall. When, however, we feel good (or at least OK)
about our self, then any old seat in the synagogue or in the banquet hall will
be “just fine.”Dr. Philip W. McLarty, pastor of First Presbyterian Church, Hope, Arkansas, graduate of Perkins School of Theology in Dallas and author of a number of books, writes,
All kidding
aside, it’s true: Those who take a back seat, who open the door for others, who
lose themselves in service of the common good experience a greater joy than
those who don’t. For one thing, they’re relieved of the stress and strain of
competing for the best portions and, in so doing, they’re more likely to be
content with what they have.
In a eulogy delivered at his father’s funeral a son said, “My dad was a special man. My parents hung a motto on the wall of the house I grew up in. It captured the essence of how they raised us kids. It read, `I am third!’ Those three words prioritized everything for us kids: it meant God is first, others are second, and I am third.” When we feel good (or at least OK) about ourselves, we can say with ease: “I am third.” Then any seat in the synagogue or in the banquet will be “just fine.”
Positive and negative recordings
The gift of good
self-esteem is bestowed at a very early age. The wound of poor self-esteem is
inflicted also at a very early age. Psychiatrists tell us that by the age of
three or four the matter is basically signed, sealed and delivered for us. By
that time a primary recording starts playing within us. With varying volume it
basically says over and over again "I'm OK” or “I’m not OK.” If the
circumstances of birth and early life have been good to us, the recording will
be positive, and will basically says “I am OK,” In such case we’ve been greatly
blessed, and there’s not much more we have to do but simply live out our life
with a grateful heart. If, however, the circumstances of our birth and early life have not been very good, then the recording will be negative, and will basically says, “I am not OK.” We have been wounded, and we are now faced with a choice: We can choose to let the negative recording take over our life and fill us with its self-pity, timidity, hostility or withdrawal. Or we can choose to work at turning down the volume of our negative recording, and to turn up the volume of the voices which tell us that we are OK. Often that’s not an easy task, but the alternative is to wallow in negativity.
Voices
which tell me that I am OK
The
older we get, the easier it is to reveal ourselves, because we don’t have much
to lose. I’m at that stage in my life. I was born of poor Italian immigrants
who came to this country at the start of the last century, and who didn’t fare
very well in their new country. Our mother, who couldn’t speak English, was
taken from us at an early age, and we kids were left without someone to tell us we’re OK, as only a
mother can. That, of course, was bound to wound us, and set a negative recording
going in our young lives, which said, “I’m not OK.”So I’ve had to work hard at “I am OK!” In that task I have been greatly helped by friends who, in the course of my journey, have reassured me in many and various ways that I am much more than just OK. On one occasion when I was making a big move in my life, a friend whom I was leaving wrote: “You should not interpret this as a `goodbye’ but rather as a long overdue affirmation of just how much you mean to me. I have learned so much from you, perhaps more so than any other person that I have come to know in my short life so far.” Every now and then I return to his words (and similar words of other friends), especially when my “I’m not OK” recording is trying to click in and take over me. To the voices of friends who tell me that I’m OK, I add the voice of Jesus. He reminds me that five sparrows are sold for a few pennies, and that I am “worth more than a whole flock of sparrows.” (Lk 12: 6-7)
Conclusion
“Get yourself a
dog!”
To
the voices of my friends and of Jesus I add, yes, even the voice of my dog.
Like Jesus, my dog knows that I am worth more than a whole flock of sparrows (or
squirrels). On a little pillow there are embroidered the words, My goal in life is to be the wonderful
person my dog thinks I am.” If you have a problem with self-esteem, get
yourself a dog.
